Thursday, October 9, 2008

My 11th birthday

11 years ago September 30th I began this incredible journey. My life is so different that was 11 years ago, and I barely know where to begin. 11 years ago, I had a spiritual awakening, a moment of clarity, after which my life has been completely different. my gratitude for what I have been given is difficult to describe.For instance, today, I get to celebrate this anniversary with a loving wife, a good job, good friends, and caring fellowship. I get to take care of myself. In today’s case, a root canal. I get to show my desire to be a part of this program by taking the bus, because our car is down, to my H and I commitment at the local prison. I feel particularly last to be able to celebrate my birthday while giving back to those people who, just like me, are reaping the consequences to their actions. I’m been on consequences. 11 years ago the only thing I would have spent that much effort on is getting loaded.

How did I get here? I say miracle. I say divine intervention. Also, a lot of hard work. When I first got here I did what everybody does. I went to 90 meetings and 90 days, didn’t get loaded between meetings, spoke up, got a sponsor, and work the steps. I allowed myself to have the miracle that is talked about in our text. Freedom from active addiction. I honestly feel that all that hard work merely got me out of the way so that God could help me. As we often hear I am my biggest problem. Probably always have been he been most of my life. Or literature gave me an instruction manual, our fellowship gave me a peer group, the steps help me work on myself, my sponsor helped guide me, but God is the instrument of my healing. When new I asked an old-timer what was different this. Was it because I had a sponsor? Because I was working in steps? He said, “it’s the grace of God”. And walked away.

My spiritual awakening, my moment of clarity, is always good to mention when I talk about my recovery. For me it was, oddly enough, 11 years ago, God willing, my last criminal act. I was dope sick, on the ground, with half the police force with guns trained on me and a big bag of cash for feet from my head. Suddenly they got off of me. And for one moment I thought I might be able to ground the cash and make a break for it. Directly after that my spirit got very quiet and I heard, more like felt, a voice. It seemed the voice was both inside and outside of me and said, “you don’t want to die”. It was that simple. I really didn’t. At that very moment everything changed. I gave up, I was done. All of the things that happen next were surely divinely inspired. I asked for help. I got it. I went to treatment. I went to meetings. I got a sponsor and began working the steps. I turned myself in to prison when it how I was asked. I was able to stay clean, go to meetings, and work the steps during my three year federal prison bit.

Since I’ve been out my life has been really good. Not always easy, but good. I have managed to hold onto the same job for eight years, which I have never done before. It got married and stayed that way. My relationships are pretty good. I have to be very diligent about keeping my side of the street clean as I am a real pig sometimes. No matter what, if I keep in touch with my god, everything seems to work out. I can’t afford to forget where I came from, or what I’ve done to get here, or where I want to go. In closing I’d just like to express my gratitude for all I have been given, and everyone and everything who has helped.



Monday, July 9, 2007

Real time

Well kids, I have new music posted and a CD for sale. You must come by my site and see and hear...

Monday, June 11, 2007

The more things change...

The more they stay the same. This song was inspired by seeing my old highschool buddies at Dave's wedding. It's interesting to see us all "grown up" and just as weird as we were, a little wiser maybe, but generally the same in the most fundamental of ways. Anyway, this is really just a plug for my song. If you want some photos from the trip, see my last post. Come hear the song at

just click on Music, then on The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same.
Give it a listen.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Trip

Hey guys. Just got back from my friend Dave's wedding in California. Willits to be exact. I think their motto should be "What you talkin' bout Willits?" Emblazoned in huge letters over the highway. Ah, most people wouldn't get the joke anyhow. It was a good trip, too much driving and not enough rest, but I got to spend time with Penny, not work, and see some of my high school buddies, not to mention be a groomsman, wear a tux, and hold a hoopa. All in all a good deal. Here's a slide show of some sights in southern Oregon and northern California.

It is a strange and beautiful world.

Sunday, March 11, 2007


This is such a strange neighbor hood. First off, there's a movie crew just down the street filming "Untraceable" starring Diane Lane. We live on the corner and starting the next block is a movie set. Big trucks, generators, mobile snack van, makeup artists, lights, etc. They had the street light up like no one's business the other night when filming went on till 4:00 am. It seems, they do a lot of set up, break down, and standing around, only briefly punctuated by actual filming. No wonder these movies cost so much money. The thing that really cracks me up is the fact that after scrubbing and pressure washing the side walk and path to the movie house, they decorated it with leaves and branches not unlike those they so meticulously removed. Also the idea of using a water truck to wet Portland city streets in the rainy season is very amusing.

Then, this morning while finishing some art and music projects, we were greeted with the sound of bagpipes. The Saint Patrick's Day parade! Irish wolfhounds a plenty, people dressed in green, and both the big fire trucks from our local Company 13.

Every time we get disgusted with the dope fiends, the shopping cart people, or the sad state of our aging building, somethings like these come along that make living here all worthwhile. All below our living room window .

Sunday, March 4, 2007


So you know how people say you can tell a lot about them by their choice of pets? How people often look kind of like their dogs? I think the same can be said by the animals they like. So much of that is based on cultural bias. Take the lowly pig.
Pigs have a bad rap in western culture. I say why not be a little more piggish. So many other cultures have cosigned my take on pigs. I have put together a little oddesy of pigdom for all of you to ponder.

The following descriptions from Wikipedia:

The Chinese Zodiacal description of the pig

The Pig type is usually an honest, straightforward and patient person. They are a modest, shy character who prefers to work quietly behind the scenes. When others despair, they are often there to offer support. This type of person is reserved with those they do not know too well, but as time passes and they gain confidence, those around them may discover a lively and warm-hearted person behind that mask of aloofness. Despite those born in the year of pig having a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, they have few close friends who understand them and share their inner thoughts and feelings. It is easy to put trust in pig type; they won't let you down and will never even attempt to do so. Such people simply want to do everything right according to social norms.
It is important to remember that these people are not vengeful creatures. If someone tries to take advantage of them, the pig type tend to withdraw to reflect on the problem and protect themselves. All they need in such situations is a little time to find a constructive way to respond. The people of the pig type are conservative creatures of habit. They dislike being made to travel too far from familiar surroundings, unless it is a trip to the countryside. They love nature and are never happier than when they are out somewhere, far from the city.
There is a tolerant and peaceful side to their character. Such people are never afraid to allow others their freedom of expression; they do not want to cause arguments and if there is any way to avoid arguing, they will probably take this option. They are not weak, however, and if the situation forces them to fight these people will rise to the occasion, whether it is to defend themselves or those close to them.

Pigs in religion:

Painting of Saint Anthony with pig in background by Piero di Cosimo c. 1480
• In ancient Egypt pigs were associated with Set, the rival to the sun god Horus. When Set fell into disfavor with the Egyptians swineherds were forbidden to enter temples.
• In Hinduism the god Vishnu took the form of a boar in order to save the earth from a demon who had dragged it to the bottom of the sea.
• In ancient Greece, a sow was an appropriate sacrifice to Demeter and had been her favorite animal since she had been the Great Goddess of archaic times. Initiates at the Eleusinian Mysteries began by sacrificing a pig.
• The pig is one of the 12-year cycle of animals which appear in the Chinese zodiac related to the Chinese calendar. Believers in Chinese astrology associate each animal with certain personality traits. See: Pig (Zodiac).
• The dietary laws of Judaism (Kashrut, adj. Kosher) and Islam (Halal) forbid the eating of flesh of swine or pork in any form, considering the pig to be an unclean animal (see taboo food and drink).
• In Christianity pigs are associated with Saint Anthony, the patron saint of swineherds.

So, with all this info shouldn't we all strive to be more piggish? At the very least give your inner pig a nice big hug.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

New Music

This song is absolutely relentless. What starts out as a nice little reggae song lasts a few bars, turns rather latin, and cops an attitude. This one definitely took on a life of it’s own. The above artwork was inspired by the song. Another one of my digital art pieces. Give it a listen. This podcast and my "original music podcast", found at /podcast is both downlaodable by subscribing and is available through the iTunes music store under podcasts. Just use the search box, type in Rob Cork, go to podcasts and there you are!